The Story Behind ‘Beltane Birth Doula Services’

Tomorrow is the fire festival of Beltane (also spelled Bealtaine, and either way, pronounced bee-al-ten-ah) after which my business is named. It seems like a fitting occasion to release my first ever blog post and to tell the story behind why I started Beltane Birth Doula Services. Some stories have clear storylines – a clear beginning, climax, and conclusion; however, the story behind Beltane Birth is not one of these stories. So, I’ll ask you to bear with me as I trace some of the most important threads.

I don’t know that I would have ever found birth work if not for the birth of my son, Noah. At the age of 18, I found myself unexpectedly (but not unhappily) pregnant. I quickly rearranged my life around my newfound identity as a mother and, even though I was young and unsure of myself in many ways, I knew that this was the most important role I would ever have. I was happily counting down the days until my maternity leave when I was told, at an ultrasound appointment, that my son had died. So, at 35 weeks, I was sent to the nearest hospital to begin the process of induction to birth my baby. I won’t give a play by play of what happened and how it affected me, but I will say that my experience in labour and birth set the stage for what was to come. You see, I had one nurse who was very, very kind. She gave me space to feel all my feelings and told me that I had a right to feel angry, sad, and lost. But I also had another nurse who was not so kind or compassionate. At the height of my labour and in the most intense moments of birthing my son, I felt unseen and unsupported. I felt like a nuisance that nobody wanted to deal with. While I wouldn’t wish my experience upon anyone, it got me thinking seriously about care. What does it mean to show up for someone and care for them in the hardest moments of their life? Who can and should be doing this work? My experience made such an impression on me that, in the days and weeks after leaving the hospital when I desperately needed something to hold onto, I thought maybe I could be a nurse like the one who had helped me. And I enrolled in a practical nurse diploma program shortly thereafter.

Now, I hate to ruin the end of the story, but I think it’s clear from the fact I’m currently working as a doula that being a nurse didn’t stick. I completed my nursing diploma in two years and spent another handful of years working in neonatal intensive care (NICU) and pediatrics in Alberta. There were a lot of things I loved about nursing. I loved getting to nerd out about the human body and how it works. I loved connecting with families and being a calm, supportive presence in their lives during times that, for them, were quite stressful. I loved sending new babies home from NICU in the loving arms of their parents and providing them with education and resources to make the transition home smoother. However, most of my time was spent administering medication, checking vital signs, and doing other administrative tasks, which left little time leftover for providing the kind of care that I knew made a difference to families. Moreover, working for the health care system also meant being constrained by it. I regularly watched my concerns about care be dismissed and felt limited in what I could do for my patients. I knew I needed to find something else but wasn’t sure what that would be.

Eventually, some years later, I completed a degree in Social Work. I went into social work excited about the prospect of continuing to work with people who wanted or needed additional support. I loved social work’s orientation toward social justice and social change, recognizing that what we experience as individuals is never just individual, but is, in part, a product of the social environments in which we live. During that time, I worked in a community centre organizing events and supports for members of the local community (including a local shelter for women and children fleeing domestic violence). I also worked as a researcher for a child and youth mental health centre, studying trauma, youth homelessness, and more. And while I realized during my degree that social work wasn’t quite it for me either, it led me into social research.

I completed a Master of Arts in Sociology from Dalhousie University in 2021. My thesis research focused on how social workers understand and make sense of trauma in children and youth and how these complex understandings influence their professional practice. And I completed the first two years of a PhD program in Sociology before I started to really feel the calling to get back into community. However, this time, I knew I would be armed with new research and project management skills that I get to use to benefit my clients. The decision to finally step into my career as a doula came exactly when it was supposed to. I was ready to start something new, to create something of my own, and finally had the knowledge, skills, and maturity necessary to begin my own doula business. I’m excited about having the opportunity to take everything I’ve learned and make it into something that is unique and of service to others.

For me, stepping into my new role as a doula means coming home to my roots - coming home to that part of myself that became captivated by pregnancy and birth and committed to helping people throughout this journey to feel seen and supported. I feel blessed to have found a career path that combines my medical knowledge, appreciation for the human body, my interest in the social and interpersonal dimensions of health, and my passion for lifelong learning. And when it came time to name my business, I decided that I wanted my business name to reflect my roots too. Beltane (or Bealtaine) is a seasonal fire festival celebrated in Ireland and Scotland and has its roots in the ancient world. It is a festival that marks the seasonal shift from early spring into summer. It is associated with abundance, protection, and fertility – all of which are energies that resonate for me with fertility, pregnancy, and birth. In fertility and pregnancy, we re-direct and re-focus our energies to protect and celebrate growing new life. It is a sacred time. And whenever I share my business with others, it is a reminder to me that my ancestors have always understood and celebrated these natural cycles and shifts that we see both in the world and in ourselves.